How to Win Friends and Influence People - Dale Carnegie (summarization)

How to Win Friends and Influence People 

PART ONE: Fundamental Techniques in Handling People

1- If You Want To Gather Honey, Don’t Kick Over the Beehive 

We shouldn’t criticize others because there’s no point and no benefit from it and usually it turns into something negative rather than positive. 

2- The big Secret of Dealing With People 

The desire to be important is key to getting people to cooperate and do what you ask them to do.Give honest and sincere appreciation. 

3- “HE WHO CAN DO THIS HAS THE WHOLE WORLD WITH THEM. HE WHO CAN NOT WALKS A LONELY WAY”

 - “bait the hook to suit the bait” is an important thing to remember when you want to please people and keep them doing what you want to do, while also pleasing them at the same time.

PART TWO: Ways to Make People Like You…..

1-Do This and You’ll be Welcome Anywhere 

You can make more friends by being more interested in them than trying to make friends by making them interested in you. You can’t make sincere friends if you attract them by only your qualities.

2-A Simple Way to Make a Good First Impression 

People notice your expression much more than what you wear or materialistically have. A sincere grin while go a long way. Greeting people with a smile will engage a positive interaction and spark up conversation.

3-If You don’t Do This, You are Headed for Trouble 

REMEMBER PEOPLES NAMES!! People care more about their own names than others, so they’ll appreciate it.

4- An Easy Way to Become a Good Conversationalist 

Be a genuine listener, the person who you are talking to will remember and feel if you are genuinely listening and actually care about the subject.

5- How to Interest People 

Study people and what their interests are. Talk about things that interest that person the most.

6- How to Make People Like You Instantly 

Don’t be afraid to compliment people. People like to feel acknowledged and important. Expect nothing in return but something priceless- the feeling of making someone else feel good about themselves.

PART 3: HOW TO WIN PEOPLE TO YOUR WAY OF THINKING 

1-YOU CAN’T WIN AN ARGUMENT 

You can’t win an argument even if you know you are correct. Let people have their moment when there’s a good number of people around. It wont make the person like you, what are you getting out of it? You’re embarrassing people and putting them on the spot.

2- A Sure Way of Making— and How to Avoid It

Questioning others and telling them they’re wrong is insulting their intelligence and pride. That only makes them strike back and not like you. If you are going to prove something, do it subtly —not in a “know it all” tone.

3- If You’re Wrong, Admit It

People like feeling like they are of importance. If you admit you’re wrong, you will most likely get of easily. 

4-A Drop of Honey 

If you have a problem with someone else, don’t attack. Maintain a common ground and go in with a positive note and attitude that makes them want to like you. 

5- The Secret of Socrates 

When talking to people, don’t talk a lot about the things that you differ, EMPHASIZE the things that you both agree on.

6-The Safety Valve in Handling Complaints 

Even if you disagree, let them finish what they have to say. DON’T INTERRUPT.

Encourage people to express themselves fully.

7- How to Get Cooperation 

Don’t forget to ask people what their desires and wants are. Make them feel included.

8- A Formula That Will Work Wonders for You

Try to understand people instead of condemning them. Try to honestly see things in their POV

9- What Everyone Wants

Sympathy. People will love you if you give it to them.

10- An Appeal That Everyone Likes 

Appeal to the nobler motive 

11- THE MOVIES DO IT. TV DOES IT…WHY DON’T YOU DO IT?

The truth isn’t enough. Be dramatic!

12-When Nothing Else Works, Try This…. 

Stimulate competition to get things done. People like a challenge! 

PART 4: HOW TO CHANGE PEOPLE WITHOUT GIVING OFFENSE

1-IF YOU MUST FIND FAULT, THIS IS THE WAY TO BEGIN 

It’s easier to listen to unpleasant things after you’ve been told something good about yourself. Begin with praise and honest appreciation!

2- HOW TO CRITICIZE AND NOT BE HATED FOR IT 

Call attention to people indirectly. Don’t make them feel bad about themselves, be more nice about it. 

3-TALK ABOUT YOUR OWN MISTAKES FIRST 

Be humble about your own mistakes too. Talk about your mistakes before criticizing the other person.

4- NO ONE LIKES TO TAKE ORDERS 

Ask questions.Explain the situation, don’t give direct orders 

5-LET THE OTHER PERSON SAVE FACE 

Understand another persons attitude, let them be and have their moment.

6-HOW TO SPUR PEOPLE ON TO SUCCESS

PRAISE PEOPLE FOR EVEN THE SLIGHTEST IMPROVEMENT

7-GIVE A DOG A GOOD NAME 

Give the other person a good reputation to live up to. Don’t talk bad about others.  

8-MAKE THE FAULT EASY TO CORRECT 

Use encouragement, don’t make it seem like the end of the world.

9-MAKE PEOPLE GLAD TO DO WHAT YOU WANT 

Be empathetic. Consider the benefits the other person will get. Make them feel happy about doing the things you suggest!